Although unaware that this would be a film one day, My Fiona started when my babysitter/surrogate older sister killed herself when I was twelve years old. This traumatic event would be the start in shaping the person I would inevitably become.
The feeling I wanted to convey most for the audience is the internal rollercoaster of grief. The ups and downs that can push you around like a riptide; camouflaging feelings, falling in love to mask the pain, possessively competing for the one we lost, and obsessively searching for answers as a temporary salve. It was important to me to walk the tightrope of sadness and humor, and at times appearing in the very same beat. I’ve never met a bad day that didn’t have a funny quirk I couldn’t appreciate.
As a bisexual I have been frustrated with the lack of our stories portrayed on screen. In my journey of celebrating my sexuality I grappled with the fact that it wasn’t an ‘aha’ moment and it took a long time to voice and stand behind the feelings I had within. Through my lead character, Jane, the audiences witnesses how her own sexuality is brought to light because of circumstance, because of connection and because of honesty. I hope that her organic exploration can reflect those that have yet to witness versions of themselves on film.
I’ll quote a line from the film, because it has become a mantra in my life and maybe one that encapsulates the message of the film. “I’m finally okay with being okay that I’m not okay and there is something liberating about that.” You are not alone in your darkness and if you look hard enough you’ll find that light is all around you.